Sometimes opposites really do attract. Sometimes it is not just attraction; it is a deeper understanding. Sometimes it’s not understanding at all but just attraction and acceptance. People are complex. Luckily we are complex in good ways as often as we can be complex in bad ways.
Let’s take attraction and acceptance first. My husband and I are opposites in as many ways as possible yet we are the same in the one way that matters most; we love each other and we are the best of friends. He is a relaxed laid back, happy go lucky, believe-in the-world person. I on the other hand, am a often (though not always) high-strung (working on this!), often moody, overly analyzing, often chaotic, question everything kind of person. He loves late nights and jam band music. I prefer to be home by 9:00, a country-music loving kind of gal. The ying and yang comparisons can be endless but yet we connect and it works.
I know he does not understand my often idiosyncratic necessity to fret over things, to worry, or to feel the need to (try to) manage everything to the most minute detail. I am sure many times it makes him batty. None the less he accepts it. He does not need to understand they why of it all – most times I don’t understand either – but he accepts me and loves me and that is wonderful.
Then there is understanding.My best friend and I are also opposites, but some how through blog on the internet, we connected. She has many similar characteristics to my husband in fact (only the good ones of course). As opposite as we are we often find ourselves agreeing on some of the deeper more philosophic things – like not feeling “connected” at times. Both of us have an understanding that not being “in” a group is OK but understanding the feeling of connectedness that comes from sharing similarities with others.
When I look at these relationships and other meaningful relationships I realize that most of the people I have connected well with are in fact those people who are not “like” me at all but who instead I have had shared experiences with.
Who do you connect best with?