I used to think that love conquered all – it is a cliche I know – to love someone but not be BE in love with them; I just need to love myself more right now (that sounds cliche too).

Compromise is a funny thing. When someone says, “compromise” I think of it as a positive thing. For most of the time we have been married I always thought the compromises were about the compromise that comes along with marriage, but at some point along the way the compromise starting coming at the expense of who I was as a person.

I want to be really clear – it wasn’t asked of me it just happened.

Then the compromise started making me question myself, about everything and that at some point started just started eroding away at the being in love part.

The hardest part of the last two days has just been the flood of guilt I feel over hurting him so badly. I know it is not logical, but emotions often aren’t. I don’t know if I *need* a therapist or not but I have an appointment on Monday evening – I’m hoping she can help me navigate my emotions.

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