Today was day 2 of the 3 day seminar that they have me attending for work and it was really out of my sphere of knowledge, skills, comfort and honestly out of any sphere of interest – all of which made for a very long day that was impossibly hard to sit though.

I know Return on Investment (ROI) is a good idea and one that drives projects but seriously 8 hours of it? It was almost like I couldn’t breathe I was so anxious to get out of the room. I know a lot of it has to do with my current situation and not feeling very focused or calm about anything in my life but this was almost the tipping point. Seriously.

I wish I was as energized as my other co-workers/teammates about this seminar and the work that we have to do – our “project” – between now and May when we come back for another 3 days, but I am just not. No matter how much self talk, positive cheerleading or zen breathing I do for myself – I just want this to be over. It is interesting for me in that I am taking a much more passive role in the group session, and this makes me worry a bit about if others think I am contributing enough but really, it’s all I have right now.

Showing up is really all I have.

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