Today I stepped into fear like I have never stepped into fear before and had the hardest conversation of my life. Adam and I are splitting up. More specifically I am the one who has decided it is time to call an end. It was not a quick or easy decision. In fact, if I spent the next two days trying to write a post to explain it I am not sure I could. Maybe someday I will be able to. It is all fresh, it is all raw and it still feels very surreal. But in my quietest of moments when I can keep the guilt I feel over hurting him at bay, and when I can keep my panic at “what next” under wraps truly feel like this is what I need to be doing. I just hate that I am hurting him in the process.
There are so many “now what” questions, both logistical and emotional but I am trying to take it one moment at a time.
One. Moment. At. A Time.