Everything at work is still the same. We are still trying to deploy the same changes in code. Today I tested the “fixed” version twice and found that it was not fixed. I am at a mental standstill with it all.

It is also taking it’s toll emotionally. I had a crappy weekend because of all the stress around this project and I come home with a stomach ache more nights than not. I know this will not go on forever. It can’t.
Either he will leave or I will move on to a new position. It really is that bad. Sigh.

The fact that it gets darker earlier is not helping either. I am feeling myself slide a little bit into a routine of work, home, walk Marley, dinner, tv, bed. For some reason I feel guilty that is my routine even though I know it is the routine of thousands of people. Every time I go out of the house it costs money and I am so tired of spending money. I am tired of saying yes, only when other people say no or just forget.

Sure I guess I am feeling a little lonely these days, but is it too much to ask that if you say you are going to do activity X with me that you at least remember it? (There is a reason I have to keep this a private blog from my IRL peeps).

I know I need to stop being so negative. But it’s hard with work being so draining right now. I really want to work at a job I enjoy.

I think going forward there can be no discussions between this person and myself without someone else around

Posted in job

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