Sometimes we see our pets age in ways that suddenly strikes us hard, and fast and well, it made me sad tonight.
Marley has always alternated between laying on her dog bed and getting up on the wide stuffed chair. She has done this for years – always. Up, down, up, down. It has gotten harder and harder for her to get up on the chair as she gets older, she usually hesitates and then with a little, “up, up, you can do it” coaching from me she does it.
Not tonight. She hesitated, started, backed up, looked at me, hesitated, was about to try, tried again, looked at me. I went over to help her and she just backed up and laid down on the floor.
I start getting all teary-eyed * She senses this and licks my face * Who is helping who here?
She is not any sicker or older than she was this morning or yesterday. Aging happens slowly, sometimes so slowly we hardly notice. And then all of a sudden it hits us in the face and sends us reeling.
I am not aiming to be be dramatic. I am just very sad. I want another 12 years with my girl. Where she knows me, my cues, aw damn.
She’s OK, she’s old, she’s getting older, but she’s OK.
I think I am the one who is a mess of tears tonight.