We possess all of the wisdom we need to make life-enriching choices in the various areas of our lives even when we feel quite unsure of ourselves. Yet in order to gain access to this individualized font of comprehension, we must be willing to trust that we instinctively know what is best for ourselves.

Most people are taught to second guess themselves quite early on because they are constantly told that others know what is good, right and true. When we believe we are in need of outside guidance, however, the primary place we should turn is inward.

While we may not be sure that we will encounter the knowledge that is needed, we may be surprised at how much insight can be found in the corridors of the soul. You will no doubt find the answers you seek today when you bow to your impulse to search within yourself first. ~ The Daily OM

I used to ooze confidence. I would make well-informed decisions (and sometimes not so well informed decisions) without looking back. I wasn’t afraid to fail. I was bold, I was fearless, I trusted myself.

I need to rediscover that part of me. This past year, and probably the years leading up to it have done a number in my self confidence. I can’t make a decision to save my life these past months. It is beyond, I mean way beyond “typical libra” indecision.

It’s little things, like picking out curtains or clothes. I have not been shopping in months (not entirely a bad thing). It’s bid decisions, do I get a new puppy or do I wait. It has even manifested at work, where I find myself saying things like, “happy to do whatever you’d like just tell me what it is,” or “I think we should XYZ…right?”

When I do make a decision I have small little OMG moments afterwards.  I am logical and I am smart. I know that any decision we make is the best we can do at that given moment in time with the information we have but I still just feel more nervous trying to make decisions. It’s not disabling, and other than those close to me I am pretty sure no one notices, but I notice it.

I just don’t trust myself any more. I mean I “decided” to marry the “wrong” guy right.

Yeah it seems to all go back to that. I know, I KNOW… everything about that statement can be argued as false, and logically I understand that, but something more deep seeded seems to have taken root in me and made me not trust myself.

It might take some time, but I do believe I can get it back, but for right now I am treading lightly.

5 replies on “Trust Yourself

  1. I went out for supper with a friend the other night. This friend is honest and direct. She said, you're insecure and you lack confidence, to me. And she's right. I do and I don't think I've ever had confidence. Time to build some I'm thinking.

  2. Oh, decisions are so hard 😦 I'm so bad at them – I see all these implications in everything I decide. Someone might have to eat something they don't like. Someone might be made to feel uncomfortable. Someone might feel put out. (All these have to do with how everyone else feels, obvs.) I would love to find my confidence. Though as my therapist says, (haha) change the behavior and the thoughts will follow. Easier said than done.

  3. you know what, though; part of it is, I think, our age/hormone stuff. Meaning, that perimenopause can mess with your brain in terms of memory and decisiveness (based on testimonies I've read on a website for pre/post hysterectomy) It's not an excuse, but I bet it could complicate that area if other stresses are already messing with it!

  4. I don't know your situation or your "wrong" guy, but I wouldn't let him and the "wrongness" of having married him determine whether you make good decisions or not. He may very well have been the right person for *that* time in your life, and not so much now. Now you know better, so you'll do better, as Maya Angelou says…Hang in there. I find the best help in decision making is having the proper amount of sleep. Bad sleep = bad decisions.

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