Rumor has it that Fall is just around the corner. I am still living in denial; fierce denial of this unavoidable fact. Living in New England summers are short. Three months. Ninety days. I like the Fall I really do, but I am not ready to let go of summer yet. I need to find a way to get in at least one more beach day.
I am not ready to buy boots, and new jeans, and sweaters. I am even less ready to wear them (though I have seen a pair of boots I like!). The ending of this summer feels harder than in the past. It seems like the first year post-divorce was easier than this second year is feeling. I can’t quite put my finger on it, why I feel this way, and I am just kind of rolling with it without trying to over think it.
I know that last winter was the hardest one ever, living alone for the first time, and it was a hard winter for me being sick, and home alone. The thought of another winter is dreary. I am doing my damnedest not to project. I have a lot of good things going on and I am hoping these will help make this winter more bearable.
I guess I am just feeling bittersweet about the ending of summer this year and a little blue that Fall this year means turning 40.
Anyway I guess I am kind of rambling. Tomorrow is Friday, Chris is coming over, and Saturday we are heading down to pick Chris’ kids up at camp. Spending time with him, and with the kids really makes me happy. It’s been 5 months and I am starting to let my guard down a little, starting to feel a little vulnerable because I am starting to care more than just casually. Trying to take it one day, one week at a time.