So I have been a bit quiet lately because when I am upset or uncertain I tend to be quiet. Things with Chris have been – different. I guess that is the best way to describe it. Up until three weeks ago he made an effort we didn’t see each other a lot, but once or twice a week. He seemed to care about trying to get together. He would try to come over once a week for dinner just us; no kids. It didn’t always work out but I felt like he was interested in trying to make it work. Then something changed and the last three weeks it has felt more like he has been seeing me because he has to get in a once a week visit. But then on the other hand when we are together it is comfortable and easy, really comfortable and easy, and nice.

I have been wanting to talk about it but the kids have been around a lot and it is not a conversation to have when we only have 5 minutes. Last night on the way home I was a little upset with myself for not making the time to have the conversation; telling him it was important, suggesting a dog walk, something. So I called him, and started the conversation. To his credit he said he would rather talk about it in person and would come over today.

He called at 1:30 and asked if tonight would work and I said sure, I was flexible. I asked him to call if he could not make it. I am trying to just remember that it will all work out as it should.

I think this week is just a good week for me to lay low; do what i need to let him be the one to reach out when he’s ready.

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