All is well that ends well tonight in love and romance. Chris and I finally connected and he came over tonight – we talked and cleared the air – he was sweet and it really went much better than I had expected.
It really was a action/reaction thing the last three weeks. He was feeling guilty that he can’t spend more time with me because he knows I had an issue with Adam not making me a priority. I thought it was great that he recognized how this could be an issue, but I assured him (and I mean this with every part of me) that him needing to take care of his real responsibilities (kids, finding his next career, and where he is living, as well as a very sick Dad) is NOT the same as Adam not making me a priority because he was off smoking pot, spending money we didn’t have and being generally unambitious. So, he was feeling badly about this, which made him pull back; he pulls back which makes me seem/be more needy, which makes him worry that I want more.
He asked how long I could “hang in there” while he dealt with all of this; and I told him I have no idea. All I know is that I like what we have going on. We had a great summer and why not have a great fall, and winter and see where that takes us.
I told him it is as simple as these three things:
- I don’t need more of a commitment right now; I just don’t want less
- I have to KNOW it is OK for me to reach out to him for support/a hug/whatever
- I really want to go apple picking with him and the kids this fall (yes I am that simple).
He laughed at the last one but said that it all sounded good and he was glad I brought it all up. Then we talked about the wedding I have coming up which after much uncertainty I found out he WAS invited, and I asked him if he though he might be able to come. I thought it would be a “well I am not sure” kind of answer but I was pleasantly surprised when he said he would work on it this weekend – see if he could get K. to take the kids that night, get the afternoon off from work etc.
A wedding together, a night away that would be good 😉