Yesterday as I was lamenting turning 40 to my boyfriend, he asked me what I hoped for my 40th year, what I wanted my goals to be. He is very pragmatic and logical, quite in opposition to the emotional, often rollercoaster-like interpretation of things.

The things is, I am actually both, pragmatic, logical, and emotional. I’ve always been someone with goals, always asked myself and planned for “what next”.  Always worried about it. There IS a list of things I hope happen in my 40s, including some things that I think he is not ready to hear yet. Rather than blurt that out (see I have learned some things along the way!), I paused and I realized that what I want for my 40th year is to be content with what I have while being open to every possibility.

It feels like a vague goal, one with out steps that I can follow to get there and this makes me uneasy. As emotional as I can be I like, guidelines, steps and plans. So maybe my 40th year should be about balancing the scales a little more. Relaxing into my planning, realizing that all those life lessons, as cliche as they may be (i.e.”all those who wander are not lost”) have kernels of truth in them.

Here’s to turning 40 and learning to embrace the kernels of truth.

Posted in 40

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