When I started blogging, it was intensely personal. I blogged on a support site about my depression and anxiety and I wrote without reserve. People read my blog but I didn’t KNOW any of them. They were all in a similar place. There was just so much I needed to get out of me. Words poured freely, without punctuation, with run on sentences. I wrote what I felt not what I thought. That was over 10 years ago.
In the past 10 years my blogs (and there have been many) have changed, they have become about what I think, rather than what I feel. They are reserved, spell-checked, proof-read, and yes, sometimes deleted. And you know what, less people read my blog now than then.
I don’t write my blog for others, I write it for me; but I do find that people gravitate more toward blogs that are about feeling than about thinking.
Why did my voice change over the years. What has made me so reserved? Well for one, people I know read my blog, at least until this blog. In fact that is precisely why I started this blog. I wanted to be anonymous again. I want to write about what I feel about things. I want to write uninhibited.
There is one blog that I have been reading for awhile that utterly INSPIRES me. Makes me wonder “what can I do to have more of this in my life.” Bleeding Espresso is amazing. Yes, I am in awe of her life in Calabria, especially after my trip to Italy last year. But the inspiration is more about how to embody what she believes in – whether in Calabria or Massachusetts – how to think about life in a way that embodies simplicity.
How do I get there from here? That’s the part of the journey I am just starting to figure out.