Online dating is a little like buying a house. For the most part you get the code words, but every once in awhile you let your mind believe what you want rather than what is.
For example “cozy” really means “small”, needs “TLC” really means it needs major renovations…and so on. There is a language to how people list houses, and after a few mis-fires, as a buyer you quickly learn what’s what. In online dating “nice guy” on paper? Usually means boring in real life.
Why we don’t like the “nice” guy is a phenomenon that I don’t understand, but I can almost guarantee you that every woman is attracted to at least a little bit of bad boy. Tonight, there was no bad boy.
I had a nice time on a very proper date. He picked me up, he dropped me off, he paid the bill, he suggested a nice place for dessert after dinner, and he left me with a great hug and an offer to go to a Red Sox game on Monday.
But there was no spark, no “click” – all of which makes me wonder.
Am I looking for too much? Am I looking for the wrong things? I want a little “edge”, a little confidence that I didn’t feel at all tonight. Other than that he had all the right stuff. A nice car, a good job, manners, respect for his family, he was a true gentleman. I want to feel the butterflies that I have felt in the past. I am too young to not feel the butterflies.
He didn’t get excited, or even interested enough to ask much about my work with animal rescue. And he didn’t seem to really be an “animal” person at all. That was a bummer.
But mostly, there just wasn’t that “click” so, do I go out with him again, go to the Red Sox Game? Or do I let it go now? I never know.