Sometimes I just need quiet. Really please quiet.

Today my boss asked me if I had a few minutes to catch up on some stuff. He asks me this all the time.

Then he told me that he was leaving. He is hands down the best manager I have ever reported to. One of he criteria I think that makes an outstanding boss is someone who can do my job while I am out – someone who gets it. Aside from that we just gelled, I propped him up and he filled in where I fell down. WIthout sounding ridiculous, it felt symbiotic.

It took a few years to get this way and for all I know it was all one sided on my part, but I don’t think so.

So we go out to lunch at 11:15 (far too early something’s up I know), but I really thought it was something else.

Shit. Wasn’t expecting that. It is so hard to be “professional” and all “let me know what I can do to help with the transition,” when inside I am totally freaking out, “WHAT?!!?”. Overall I think I handled it OK. I am not good at these things – change really is not my strength.

Plus,

Eight weeks ago I accepted a promotion that involved me having other people report to me; something I really didn’t/don’t really want. Despite what other tell me, that I am good at it – I don’t feel good at it and more importantly I don’t like it. I want to like it because I know it is “key to my successful career growth”, but I do not like being responsible for other people’s work.

But I said yes, and for the last 6 weeks I have hated it, but my boss and I had gotten a routine down.

Then, today I get this news and am blown away. I am happy for him, he is great, really amazingly talented and he deserves this, it is good for HIS career path.

It sucks for me. What is even harder is I have to be the strong point of consistency assuring everyone else that it will be fine, all the while praying like MAD that he doesn’t take our main (outstanding) developer with him when he goes.

But to try and find a silver lining there may be a chance – very small but maybe – that as they hire someone new, I can work my role into more of a Resource, Allocation and Planning position, and less of a mange people position.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. More on what makes a good manager in another post

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