I would like to forget the last 14 days at work. I am at my breaking point at work. I appreciate the vote of faith that people had in me to promote my to the position I am in. I mean really, how can anyone complain about getting two promotions in one year.
I absolutely appreciate it, but now with a little bit of perspective I see that it happened to help promote the agenda of my (old) boss, and his boss leaving to go to a new group. Sure I might have been a good fit, even the best fit, but let’s not kid ourselves, the change happened because it worked with the bigger agenda.
And it is nearly killing me.
Of the last 5 days at work, I have been brought to tears 4 days. I simply cannot keep up and there is something that is not clicking in the communications with my boss. He is theoretical. I am literal and tactical. He is a Director and I need him to Direct. I have told him this, and yet every single time I go into his office to ask a simple question it leads to a much longer than needed philosophical question to what we can improve.
I am not adverse to change, but I cannot process changing everything he thinks about all the time. He needs to direct. “I would like to see us focus on X this month”, and then be part of the solution. It is endlessly frustrating to try and keep up and get it right. I don’t feel it is right to talk to his boss (who is very high up), but I need to talk to someone who can offer me some guidance on how to approach it – and who honestly might have some feedback get back to him.
Last week was awful, this week is better because I have some space to do my job tasks that I have because he is on vacation.
I know he is trying to prove himself too and get his feet underneath him, but I cannot keep feeling like I am never doing enough and that everything that exists now “needs to be improved”.
Bah. Hopefully the two conversations I have lined up this week will help give me some perspective.