One of the absolute best parts of my life is being Auntie M to my brother’s two girls. No matter how terrible of a mood I am in seeing them just makes me focus on them, not on me or my troubles, and it is all so much better in an instant.
I remember my 2nd niece being born the day after I told my ex husband that I wanted a divorce. It was the hardest thing I have ever done emotionally and I was just a zombie, completely unsure of pretty much everything in my life and it was all I could do to get through one hour of the day at a time.
Then along comes niece #2 and shifts my perspective to her, this tiny, gorgeous, perfect little being, a complete blank slate to the world. Her timing was perfect, and he being here forced me to look outside of my situation, and it was so what I needed.
My older niece is is visual spitting image of my brother, and a spitting image of my personality and temperament when I was her age (and am still!) Her willful personality, emotions, and strength, (and preference for dance and gymnastics over organized sports like soccer). I see so much of myself in her and I love her “too the moon and back” for it.
And now, #3 is on her way, yes another girl. I thought they were done with having kids, happy with two, and last night they surprised the heck out of me by saying #3 is on the way. A September baby on her way.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say it stings a a little. For the most part I am accepting that I won’t have kids of my own, but at moments like this (and when I see a mom walking her kid to school in the morning) it still tugs at my heart. So instead, I focus on being the best Auntie ever.